Ang Akwaryum

Ang Akwaryum
Isinulat ni Webbielady

 Pagod na pagod na ako. Ayoko na. Ano ba naman ang importansiya ng buhay? Hindi ko talaga maintindan. 43 anyos na akong solo sa buhay. Wala lang, buhay nga ba 'to? Oo nga, buhay ba ang tawag dito? Buhay nga ako pero patay naman ang kaluluwa ko. Araw-araw na trabaho, walang pagmamahal, walang pag-aaruga, as in wala! Pagod na talaga ako sa routine na 'to! Ano pa ba ang pwedi kong gawin? Walang-wala na! Ang umanidad ay nakakahiya! Ang pulitika ay nakakasuka! Ang mundong ito ay playground lamang ng kasamaan at nakakasukang katotohanan. Ayaw ko nang manatili dito. Ayoko na.Gusto ko nang tapusin ang lahat! Papano nga ba?

 Ano nga ba ang best way ng pagpapakamatay na hindi kailangang magdusa? Tama na ang pagdurusa ko! Nakakahiya naman kung bibitayin ko ang sarili ko, pangit ang dating. E, laslasin ko kaya ang pulso ko? Yay, bloody nga naman! Ayoko din nyan! Lagyan ko nalang kaya ng lason ng daga ang gatas ko mamaya. Oo nga, tamang-tama! Bingo! 


Kaya lang... saglit nga! Papano ang mga isda ko? Sila lang yung nagpapasigla ng araw ko at sila lang ang nagpapasaya nang konti ng malungkot kong buhay. Sigurado magdudusa sila pag wala na ako. Kawawa naman itong mga minamahal kong isda! Hindi ko to matitiis! E, papano na ngayon? 


Makapagisip nga. Ayaw kong magdusa ang mga minamahal kong isda ng mas matagal kaysa sa pagdusa ko. Saglit! Hmmmm... Sa tingin ko, bawasan ko nlang yung tubig ng akwaryum, tapos ilagay ko sya sa kusina at buksan ko yung gas.... Tama! Ayan! Isara ko yung mga bintana at sa kusina ako matutulog kasama ng mga mahal kong isda sa kahuli-hulihang pagkakataon sa mundong ito. Bukas wala na kami dito............. 


 .....kinabukasan..... 


 Oo na, oo na, alam ko! Buhay pa din kami! Hindo ko kayang patayin ang mga mahal kong isda! Wala na akong choise kundi mamuhay sa nakakasuklam na mundong to.

Friday and Summer Evening

7 p.m. Happy to end my week. It's the end of the month and it's a routine to process something important before going home. Today's one of these few days. Left by colleagues alone in the building, I feel my own footsteps. I walk fast to the parking area. Most cars are gone. I can count the remaining ones. I proceed to the bike shed. My bike's one of the very few left. I unlock my bike. I mount it. I open the shed door with my chipped-badge. I cycle homeward.



The street's empty. The sound of the wind is strong. The shower was so thin I can barely feel with the wind. The Vliet canal's quiet, no boat, no kayak girls and guys, no one. The team of fun-fishers camping along the canal during the entire week's gone too. No one, stillness, only nature and me and my bike.

The sky's darkening, I speed up to avoid stronger rain. Another street. The cars line the side of the street, everyone's home? Or everyone's away leaving the cars? No food smellfromhouses, no TV flashing views from the windows. No life. Still the wind blows. Warm from biking, cold from the wind. Mixed emotions.

The street's almost done. I have to cross and take another smaller street. Oh! Two souls! A father and a son on their respective bikes. Kiddie's too small. I think he's two. Dad's happy giving directions. They both have red sweaters. I bike past them. I have to cross the Sir Winston Churcillaan. Still quiet, a few cars while I cross. Calm. No heavy traffic. I am near home, still no one around biking. I could smell my dinner. Feeling warm. Feeling not alone. I arrive at my bike shed. I keep my bike, I run upstairs. Someone's there. Amore.

No more alone, no more mixed feelings. Only warmth and love. Summer in Rijswijk Netherlands, Friday evening.

The First Snowflake By Webbielady

It’s third week of November. We were trying to hold it together up there. It’s not our time yet. We needed to hold onto each other, trying not to fall down, not to precipitate. We held each other strongly yet our force was futile: we had to fall; we could not stay within the atmosphere any longer. We, as crystalline water ice, had no better choice but to turn from clouds to snowflakes, as the humans call it.

We were told from the very beginning that we have a cycle. We cannot stay in one stage of our life for a long time. Just like today, after a few days of staying as clouds, we have to turn into rain or snow. And here I am, one of the many billions snowflakes drifting down… down…down… and now I landed as a beautiful snowflake, fresh and pure. I landed on a leaf.

Very near where I landed is a lady enjoying the snowfall. She hums as she tries to catch some of us still falling down immensely. She did so for about 10 minutes happily but as time goes by, she eventually got bored and started to feel cold.

“What on earth I forgot those keys for! I hope mom doesn’t get caught in traffic thatlong…. Brrrrr….brrrr…”

Now I knowwhy. She is waiting in the doorway for her mother to arrive home. Anotherquarter an hour passed and her phone rang.

“Where?...What?!... Still in Utrecht? But that’s another at least 30minutes mom. To who? To Helma’s? No..no.. I cannot, I am soaked… I better waityou here… An hour? Why?... Please mom, I’ll just wait you here….brrrr…. takecare, Mom. Love yah!”

Now Istarted to pity her. An hour in cold is a challenge. I feel a bit guilty fornot holding strong enough up there. Now we cause trouble down here, we are muchunexpected as it’s only November! It’s our fault! We were not strong enough toresist falling down.

-Hi Jes! Why are you here in this weather? Youlook cold too!

=Yeah, I’m waiting for Mom. I left my keysinside.

-Oh, that doesn’t sound fun. Mind to come inwith me to have some hot chocolate, tea or coffee?

= No, never mind. Mom will be here in fewminutes. Thanks anyway, Rob.

-A’ight. I’ll wait with you here. It’s a fewminutes as you said anyway.

=No, no! Are you crazy? It’s cold here.

-No, don’t worry. Let’s just chit-chat tillyour mom arrives.

=It’s not really necessary, jot get in. Momwill be here very soon.

-I’ll get inside if you come with me. So, untilyou change your mind, I am stuck here with you.

I am amazedby Rob’s insistence. For another 20 minutes Jessica and Rob talked aboutschool, work, life and everything. I was a happy witness on the leaf abouttheir conversation. They laugh and talk and she almost forgot she’s half-soaked.

Theconversation continued, a dinner date for the Friday evening has been set, atennis match has been set, a Calculus tutorial on Sunday has been fixed and alot of other plans have been discussed. Yet, Jessica’s mother has still notarrived. I assume another 30 minutes. Another phonecall…

Yes Mom. You’re near?... Huh? … Arnhem? Why? Oh,no…. I’mokay Mom, Rob’s here inviting me inside his house but I told him you’re near….Another 30 minutes? That heavy and slow?... Okay…okay… take care, Mom. Bye.

-So?

=Okay, in we go.

-That’s it. I’m starting to freeze here too.Let’s go!

That’s it.I am not sure if I am still here to witness the tennis match and when they goout for dinner. It’s only Monday. I hope not to melt until weekend to witnessmore but my life in each stage is short. I will be in the atmosphere againsoon, during my condensation cycle. It is not a boring and disappointingprecipitation after all. I have a story to tell when I condense back to theatmosphere. I will surely tell the lovely story of Rob and Jessica. I bet theirstory is only starting.