Sunday, April 26, 2009

Confessions of a Devoted Sinner

cassock, church fun, funny church acts, inside the church, catholic's musingsWho can blame me? I see so many things, I hear so many sounds and I feel a few uncontrollable sensations while the holy Catholic mass is ongoing. Please forgive me, Oh Lord, as I, your devotee, a scarred sinner, inside your holy sanctuary, is distracted as usual.

Dear Lord, I have to admit that the finely designed, with fine cloth, garb Cassock of the priest always stir my curiosity. Is that thing expensive?

Another question to you my Almighty: those flower decorations down the lectern and scattered around the pulpit and at the base of the altar, do they really appease you? What can you say about them? I am really curious to hear your opinion about it. Aren’t we supposed to have an economic crisis as what the priest always tell when we are about to give alms? How about in your end My Lord? Do you have fluctuation of exchange rates and stock markets as well? How’s trading today?

Another concern that I tell You is about the cat! Yes, the cat! It’s a blackish gray cat but I think this cat here inside the church wants to have a contest with me with church attendance and to prove me that I am not the most devoted person inside here. This gray green-eyed cat is always present here in all the holy masses that I attended and I have the notion that even if I am not around, this cat still goes to masses. I really find it disturbing! Despite all these distractions, I feel that this cat is very lucky because if it’s as devoted as I think it is, this feline is surely less sinful than I am. This creature might have prayed to you Lord, did it confess something as well?

It is early Sunday morning Oh dear Lord but I hear a snore just in the row behind mine. I am really very curious Oh Lord and I want to look who it is but that would be an embarrassing thing to do if I do look over my shoulder to see “who it is”. Hmmm… let me sit in a slightly angled position so I can see from the corner of my eye… Oh! That’s an old man! Did he go for a night out? I wonder why he snores that loud as the priest delivers the sermon. I have to say I yawned for at least seven times but at least I am not sleeping and NOT snoring. That is very embarrassing and it does catch my attention more than anything else. Now I cannot stop thinking the cause of this old man’s sleepiness. I also understand the rhythm of his snore more than the message in the priest’s sermon! Oh, please pardon me Oh Lord.

The couple in front of me, now that the old man has stopped snoring, they are really distracting. She is very fat and he is very bald! He reminds me of my very own hair which is also near bald. I'm 35 and now I think of my thinning hair. This is a usual caucasian man's nigh mare: the hair. Now the couple, they are actually arguing about something but I cannot figure it out. So bad, the priest is preparing for the communion and I must bow my head. Although she tries to make the arguments in whisper, I still cannot put myself into concentration. Why can’t they be quiet like me? Like a real devotee? Oh Lord, I can only imagine your amused face when you see all of us down here.

Do you know Lord that some of your believers are really disgusting? A woman picked the fallen “ostia” or “the body of Christ” when her tongue missed it as the lay minister offered it to her? I mean, can you imagine the “body of Christ” or… can I say Your body?...did fall down the floor? That must have caused you a real thud!

Indeed my Lord, I’m physically present inside your sanctuary but I am mentally absent. Good thing is, I know you forgive me. I know that you fully understand. Should you have done another reaction if you’re in my shoes?


liza said...

I see exactly your point. These are the things too my husband always ask when we hear mass.

Gorgeous MUM said...

I love the way you put it out! You really could not help but question sometimes.

Anyways, I've got something for you HERE!

tashabud said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who behaves this way. You nailed each scenario right on the head. Very funny.


WebbieLady said...

@ Liza,
That's why Liz the article is in the point of view of a man...^^

@Sorgeous Mum,
Indeed Sheng... I dunno how the others thing...

Ah, so you are among the club members as well! ^^

Jana said...

i enjoyed it sooo much!great story...again and indeed there are always plenty of things in life and in every single moment that can keep distracting you...:)

Damien Riley said...

As a new reader, I had very little clues to what you meant. I sense there was irony and sarcasm happening with the priest but maybe if I hung around more here I'd get it.

I got and loved the last line "How's the trading?" LOL

WebbieLady said...


Thanks a lot Dearie... Am just trying to express what I want to convey you know.


Thanks for the crit but I believe you were not able to read the whole stuff as you mentioned a different ending. ^^

I sent you an email regarding this.

Suburban Survivalist Blogger said...

Unfortunately, many miss understand the purpose of such things. The decorations are for man's eyes, not God's. Any where two or more are gathered in his name... which does not have a stipulation of lots of cool stuff.

irel said...

lol Amen. That is why sometimes I don't like going to church coz my eyes starts wandering and my mind starts asking! I just can;t pay attention when there are too many distraction lol.

Gorgeous MUM said...

Thanks for the visit!

You're on the move again! Wish I could go around Europe like you! Hubby wants to visit places that tourists doesn't go to; like the never heard towns of a country. You're lucky having a good job that takes you everywhere! But it must also be tiring, moving every now and then.

Anyways, good luck and hope you're enjoying whatever it is that you're good at!

I so want to go back to Europe again! It's just far different and enchanting! Lucky you!

L. Venkata Subramaniam said...

Goes to show we are only human....

The physical presence still has a meaning. At a conscious and unconscious level it is playing on your mind. Even though you chose to focus on event A at the mass, event B that you are not even consciously aware of probably has a bigger bearing on your life.